The Skin I'm In
by robinsongirl
Summary: Edward never returned in New Moon. What happens when Bella meets up with the Cullens again, almost seventy years later, in Chicago? *chapter one revised*
1. Still The River Flows

Chapter One: An Unexpected Reunion

Edward Cullen sighed as he stared up at his bedroom's ceiling fighting off unwanted memories. His family had recently moved to Chicago, yet this house was already so eerily familiar to Edward. In fact, every room he entered sent waves of long forgotten memories, blurry in their humanness. This was the house he had been born in, in the year 1901. He was the red headed, green-eyed, only child of Edward and Elizabeth Masen then, instead of the red headed, golden-eyed, adopted son of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

_It doesn't sound so strange when you say it like that…_ Edward mused. People tend to scream and run away when you add in that the year was 2072, and that the entire Cullen family, adopted children included, were vampires. Edward sighed again as a soft knock interrupted his thoughts. He jumped; surprised that he hadn't realized anyone was coming towards his room.

"Edward?" Esme's soft voice asked. "Your sister would like to inform you that you're going to be late for school if you don't move soon." Edward sat up and smiled sadly at Esme. Had he really been that caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Alice screaming at him from downstairs like he could now? He pushed the thoughts and memories away and focused on Esme.

"Thanks, Mom." Esme smiled in return as she sat next to Edward on the bed.

_It still makes me so happy when you call me that._ Edward already knew that. It had taken him the longest to accept Esme as his mother. He had been stubborn and refused to see anyone other than his own birth mother as a mom. But, it was hard not to accept Esme as a mom once you knew her. She was warm and inviting to everyone, and only wanted her family to be safe and happy.

_She loved Bella almost as much as I do… _Edward grimaced at the name. Even sixty-seven years apart couldn't stop the love he had for Isabella Swan.

Esme patted his hand lovingly. _Thinking of her again?_

"You can read minds too now?" Edward attempted to joke.

_I know the look of pain, and I hate seeing it on my children's faces._

Edward hung his head. "She's moved on … 85 years old. Probably had a career and a Husband by now, probably a child or two and now Grandchildren if not great-grandchildren… She's better off this way, human, alive." What he wouldn't have given to have lived that life with her, to be there with her always, to have raised a family together, and to now be growing old with her.

_Edward…_ He brushed away Esme's concern and stood.

"I need to get going. Don't want to make the others late."

Esme nodded and dropped the subject, but Edward could still hear her thoughts as he raced to the garage. _He hasn't been complete since we left._ His eyes stung, even though tears would never come. He felt a wave of peace as he entered the garage, and sent Jasper a grateful nod.

_Any time, little brother._

As the new black Mercedes pulled out of the garage followed by Emmett's newest Jeep, Edward glanced at the ancient silver Volvo that he refused to part with. Esme was right. He hadn't been complete since leaving Forks, and he never would be again.

* * *

"I am Isabella Davidson." The former Bella Swan repeated over and over in her head. It was a routine that she had to repeat about every four years or so, on the first day of class. Each time there was a new last name, a new identity, a new story. Though she knew that both of her parents as well as Phil had died years ago, she never went back to Swan. To many memories tied to that name, memories of loved ones lost. But she could never part with her first name, it was who she was, thought now she never went by Bella. That chapter of her life had closed decades ago. Now she was Isabella Davidson, daughter of Oliver and Heather Davidson.

Bella had met Oliver and Heather in 2015 in Buffalo, NY and learned that they too, considered themselves vegetarians. Bella formed a connection with the two older vampires, both turned in the 1800's, and joined their small family. They traveled together much like that Cullen's did, but with a smaller family their story wasn't nearly as complex. Decades later, in 2062, Taylor joined the family as well. Taylor was only sixteen years old when they found him in Vancouver, Canada having been turned at fifteen, and abandoned by his creator. He picked up to their ways quickly, but a recent slip-up is what had them moving to Chicago where Bella and Taylor were both accepted into a private school, St. Benedict High School. Private schools meant smaller crowds, which made it easier for Taylor. He would be starting as a freshman with Bella as his older sister in her sophomore year.

Bella sat in the back of the classroom, trying fruitlessly to hide from amazed stares. She watched as her fellow students filled in, the new faces interrupted by two familiar faces. Two faces that she could never forget, and wondered if she was imagining them. She blinked hard but when she reopened her eyes still saw them sitting there, turned around to stare at her with the same questions. One was a tall young man with honey blonde hair, and confused golden eyes. He was muscular but lean, and covered in silver crescent shaped scars, nearly invisible to the human eye. His companion was a small pixie-like girl with short black hair, and golden eyes that matched the man's. But unlike her partner's the girls eyes were glazed over with what Bella knew was a vision. _Alice and Jasper! _Shaking her head and still not believing them to be there, she turned to the front again as the teacher called roll. Sure enough the first name on the roll was Cullen, Alice followed by her own Davidson, Isabella. And farther down was Hale, Jasper. _Unbelievable! Is _he_ here then too? _Again shaking her head to clear her mind, she tried to pay attention as the teacher passed out a few first day papers and dismissed the class for the day. She raced as quickly as she dared out of the classroom and into the nearest abandoned room, a small broom closet, knowing that Alice would follow.

It was only a few moments later that Bella found herself wrapped between two small but strong arms. She sighed happily as she wrapped her arms around her best friend after a long separation. She was happy to see them, Alice and Jasper, but she couldn't help but drift back to _him_. A wave of calm covered the small room and Alice let go of Bella reluctantly. "Thank you, Jasper…" He nodded his head, many questions obviously on his mind.

"Bella?" Alice asked, staring into Bella's identical golden eyes.

"I've missed you." She didn't know what else to say to fill the awkward silence.

"When did this happen? How…?" Alice asked.

"A year after you left… Victoria wanted revenge for James." For the longest time those names had been impossible for her to even think of without cringing, but she had long ago accepted how her life had turned out.

"You've been alone since then? For nearly seventy years?" Jasper asked, a slight Texan accent still present in his voice.

Bella shook her head. "Not completely. I've been with a vampire couple, Oliver and Heather who pose as my parents, for almost sixty years now. Taylor is still relatively new to both this life and our family, but he's become the little brother I never had… It was never the same without all of you though, of course."

Alice threw her arms around Bella again. "Oh Bella! I'm so sorry! We should have never left you!" Memories of that day came back full force, memories that she had long ago pushed to the back of her head. She cringed in Alice's arms before another calm wave passed through her.

"It wasn't your fault." She comforted Alice.

Alice suddenly pulled away and held Bella at arm's length. "We have to tell the others! Bella you have to come over tonight! Esme would love to see you! And you can meet Sara, our latest addition!" Alice jumped around with excitement, but Bella could only think of one thing. As much as she would love to see the others, along with them came _him_, and she couldn't handle that right now. She wasn't sure if she could ever handle that.

"Alice, I don't think that tonight will work…"

Alice looked devastated. "But…" Jasper silenced her with a glance. Bella watched as they shared a conversation with their eyes like only a married couple could. Alice's eyes widened with understanding before turning back to Bella and taking her hands.

"He won't be there… I'll see to that. Rosalie can take him out hunting. We won't even let him know you're here if you would prefer that." Bella nodded, not trusting herself to say anything.

"We'll pick you up around five!" Alice said happily as the bell rang.

"How will you keep this from him?" Alice and Jasper exchanged a smile.

"We have our ways of keeping things from him."


	2. Bring It All Back Home

**For anyone who is a returnee to this fic, thanks you for your patience (see end authors note) but note that Chapter one was updated and changed a bit since my new idea changed the plot a bit… THANK YOU!**

Chapter Two: Bring It All Back Home

Bella paced the length of her room at a pace that would seem slow even to humans. _What was I thinking?_ She challenged herself. Ever since agreeing to meet with that Cullen's she had been questioning her sanity. She couldn't bring herself to back out, and as much as she knew seeing them would hurt, she had missed the more. She had made it through the rest of the school day without seeing any of the other Cullen's, and for that she was grateful, but she still wasn't sure about seeing them tonight.

"Isabella?" Bella looked up at her adoptive mother. "Taylor said that you were acting strange today, is everything alright?"

Bella smiled slightly. Heather was so much like Esme that it sometimes hurt. "I ran into some old friends at school." She sat down on the edge of her bed, and motioned for Heather to join her. "They are here, in Chicago. Of all the places for them to be they are _here_."

"The Cullen's?" Heather was the only one in Bella's new small family that knew her entire story, about _him_. "Did you see…?" Bella shook her head. "Bella, I'm so sorry… do you want to go somewhere else?"

Suddenly, although she was anxious about seeing them, the thought of losing the Cullen's again pained her. "No. I will not run from him. They are just as much my family as they are his, and if he wishes not to see me, he can leave… I will not lose them again." Bella straightened up, realizing how true her words were as she spoke them. She wouldn't let him come between her and his family anymore, not now that she had found them. Heather had grown quiet and was studying her hands when Bella looked back at her. Guilt washed over Bella as she realized what her words must have sounded like to Heather. Bella took one of her hands into her own and squeezed it slightly. "Just because they are back in my life, that doesn't mean I'll abandon you."

Heather nodded. "I know that, I really do, but I always feared that the day would come when you would find them again, and leave us to be with your family again… You have become more than my daughter Isabella. You are my best friend, and I worry that I will lose you."

"Heather, You are my family now too as well as one of my very best friends, and I'll no sooner leave you than cut off my own arm." Bella pulled her into a hug, relishing the emotional warmth of the moment. The moment was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. "Do you want to meet Alice?" Bella questioned as she pulled out of the hug.

"Not tonight. I would love to meet her, but tonight is your night. This is your reunion, and I have no place there yet. Go; be with your family, and another day we will meet." She smiled to reassure Bella and gave her another quick hug before pushing her toward the door. "Have fun, and be back by curfew!" She teased.

"Yes, mom!" Bella called back laughing as she opened the front door.

A bright yellow sports car with Alice at the wheel sat in her driveway. Bella couldn't hold back her grin as she ran to join her friend in the car. This time she pulled Alice into a hug. Alice was smiling as she began to drive. "Why are you so happy?"

"I realized that I finally have you back in my life." Bella answered as she studied the interior of the fancy car. "So who is this Sara you mentioned earlier?"

Alice launched into the story of Sara, a young woman who had found her way to the Cullen's and asked to join the family nearly forty years ago. She had been turned for a newborn army like Jasper had been, but had escaped after her first battle. She hated what she had become and fought against what she was. Then she ran into an old friend of Carlisle's who told her about the Cullen's and their way of life. She had searched for them for a few years before she caught up with them in Portland. Apparently she fit right in. She loved shopping, but also enjoyed wrestling with Emmett and Jasper from time to time. Alice said that Jasper had connected with her because of how much she reminded him of his little sister. Bella couldn't help but be envious of this new vampire that had lived the life with the Cullen's that Bella had always wanted but never got the chance to have.

Before long they were pulling into a long drive, similar to the one they had in Forks. As the trees thinned Bella saw the majestic house. It was a large two story Victorian, obviously old but modernized at the same time. There was a wraparound porch that surrounded two sides of the house and a large garden graced the front lawn. There was a newer building off to the side that Bella recognized as a seven car garage. It had tan siding and a grey/slate roof as well as red brick accents. The house seemed to hold a sense of dignity that was only demanded by age and high class. "It's beautiful." Bella breathed. Alice smiled as she parked the car.

"Esme's most recent project, it was Edward's from before, but it obviously needed some updates…" Alice trailed off as she saw the pain flicker across her friends face. "Bella…"

"It's nothing, just some haunting memories…" Bella tried to shrug it off.

Before Alice could say any more, the passenger door was flung open and Bella was pulled from the seat. Bella found her feet dangling in the air as a pair of granite arms constricted around her. "Emmett!" She laughed as she hugged him in return. This sound was so foreign to her own ears that she paused for a moment before regaining her composure. She looked up to study her captor, not surprised that he hadn't changed a bit. Emmett set her back down as he studied her as well. He let out a low whistle of appreciation.

"Looking good Bella!" His grin quickly turned into a playful pout. "That would have gotten a tomato red blush out of you before!" Bella laughed again as she let Emmett lead her into the house.

"I've changed a bit since… before…" Emmett seemed to sense that her thoughts were headed to a dark place, and quickly changed the subject.

"So Bella, fall down lately?" he teased.

"Not in a while, but even with the added grace my feet still find something to trip over from time to time, as though they have remained human without me…" She glared down at her own feet as Emmett's booming laughter seemed to fill the house. He lead her into a large open room that must have served as their living room where Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, and Rosalie stood waiting.

Esme rushed forward and pulled her from Emmett, who in turn went to wrap his arms around Rosalie. "We've all missed you so much, Bella dear." Bella felt herself melt into Esme's motherly embrace as she returned the hug as well as she could.

Carlisle was there once Esme relinquished her hold on Bella, shaking her hand. "Welcome back." Bella could see that Carlisle's eyes, like Jasper's had been earlier, were full of questions.

"I know you must all have many questions and I'll try to answer them as best as I can." Bella sighed. "Shall we get this over with then?"

Carlisle smiled almost sheepishly. "I apologize for pushing you, Bella, but we would all like to know what happened after our untimely departure from forks." Bella smiled sadly as they all took seats; Bella, Esme, and Carlisle on the couch, Rosalie and Emmett in the love seat, cuddled against each other, and Alice sitting on Jasper's lap in the armchair.

"Don't apologize. I would be curious if I were you." She settled into an armchair and looked around at the others. My family, she thought. Minus a few. She closed her eyes and took a moment to organize her thoughts. With a deep breath she opened her eyes and began. "I… Struggled… When you left. It took a few months before I could even think about getting back to normal, but I never really got there. I had a new group of friends down in LaPush that sort of understood... Jacob Black," Bella was interrupted by a mixture of snorts, growls, and grimaces. "Yeah, I know, danger magnet. It figures that once the vampires leave I unknowingly befriend the werewolves... Jake… He picked up the pieces, as many as he could find that is. No matter how many pieces he picked up their always pieces still missing." _Seven big pieces._

"It got really bad. I wouldn't, couldn't let myself even think of him, it hurt too much. I realize know that whenever I got myself into trouble I could hear him yelling at me to keep myself safe... I know it sounds crazy but it was like a drug to me. I rode motorcycles, jumped off cliffs..."

Esme grasped her hand, a terrified expression covering her features. "You jumped off a cliff?" She asked in a small, strangled voice. Bella nodded confused by Esme's reaction.

"Cliff diving. I saw some kids do it in LaPush and decided to try myself... I told you I was desperate. It went badly. The water was rougher than I had thought. I would have drowned is not for Jake." Bella paused playing with the bracelet at her wrist. It had been a graduation gift from Jacob, a small leather band with a wooden wolf charm that he had carved by himself. She hadn't taken it off except to change the leather strap out over the years, and she always found herself messing with it whenever she thought of her best friend. Bella gathered her thought back up again and continued. "That's when she thought I was trying to kill myself."

"Who?" Carlisle probed gently.

"Victoria." A hush fell over the room.

Bella let the silence hang for a few moments before continuing on. "It's my own fault really. The guys in LaPush protected me for a while, but then Victoria seemed to just disappear, and everyone assumed that she had given up and left. Jake was the only one that still patrolled by my house. We got into a big fight one night, and he left early and angry. Victoria used that night as her chance to get to me."

"Why you?" Rosalie spoke up for the first time that night. "Why go after you? You didn't do anything…"

Fighting off her surprise, Bella shrugged. "Because of James. After you guys took care of James, Victoria wanted revenge. 'Mate for a mate.' She said. She wanted _him_ to suffer as much as she had. Once she realized that you all were gone and thought I was suicidal, she decided that leaving me alone forever without you was a better revenge."

"But Edward didn't kill James! Jasper and I took care of him while Edward helped Carlisle with you…" Emmett protested. All Bella could do was shrug again, but oddly enough she felt a sudden peace, getting everything off her chest to someone other than Heather, to be here telling it to the people she thought she would never see again.

Carlisle shared a glance with Esme before turning back to Bella. "After you were changed?"

"I've never tasted human blood, if that's what you mean." Carlisle smiled with pride, but something still seemed to be bothering Esme.

"You were alone for all those years?"

Bella smiled. "Not completely… The first years I was alone, but then in 2015 I met a couple that shared our diet, I was only going to stay with them for a while, but we connected and I ended up staying with them, Oliver and Heather. We lived as a teenager and her parents, and soon our relationship felt like that too… then ten years ago we found Taylor… He's only fifteen physically, and he took on the role of y younger brother." Bella smiled fondly as she thought of her new family. "They are all great, and have helped me through some difficult times… They would love to meet you all someday, to match faces to my family." Bella smiled at her old family, letting them know that they were still her family too.

Esme smiled and patted Bella's knee. "And we would love to meet them my dear."

"Bella, can I backtrack a bit? After your change where did you go?" Carlisle asked softly.

"I actually stayed in Forks for a while. I stayed in your house for a while… I didn't know where else to go…" They all stared at her with mixed levels of shock.

"How long were you there?" Jasper asked suddenly.

"Just over a month… after what had happened their last time, I couldn't spend another birthday there…" She smiled sadly.

Jasper looked panicked. "Bella, I'm sorry for that, for what I caused…"

Bella locked eyes with him. "Jasper, listen to me. I don't blame you, I _never_ did. It was my clumsy self that cut my finger, and it was _him_ that had you all move. It's not your fault and I don't want to hear you mention it again." She smiled warmly at him as he nodded his agreement.

Alice cleared her throat to effectively break up the moment. "I'm really sorry to interrupt, but the very person we are trying to avoid right now is on their way home, so we need to get Bella out of here…" Everyone seemed to nod their understanding as they all stood to say goodbye to Bella. "Please know that our doors are always open to you Bella." Carlisle said as he offered her a brief hug. "Thank you, I'll make sure to take advantage of that sometime." Esme pulled her into another hug then, telling her to not be a stranger. Emmet and Jasper both called their goodbyes, understanding the rush, but Rosalie stepped forward and awkwardly pulled Bella into a quick hug. "I'm sorry for everything, for how I treated you… I'm sorry." It was all that was said, whispered really before Alice pulled Bella back to the garage. "Come on! It's not like you'll never see us again, we'll see you tomorrow at school!" Bella grinned as she let Alice pull her away.

The grin disappeared though, once they entered the garage. Sitting there in a corner was a car she hadn't noticed before, but upon looking closer discovered that it was the silver Volvo, the same one from Forks. Bella found herself curling up against herself to hold back the pain, but the hole in her chest seemed to grow even larger as the memories rushed at her like a tidal wave.

The rescue in Port Angles, learning what the Cullen's where, learning more about him, and him learning more about her…

"Bella?" Alice's panicked voice brought her somewhat back to her senses. She allowed Alice to lead her to the car and to help her into it, relizing that her arms hand wraped themselves around her middle. The car ride was silent, but Bella could feel Alice's eyes on her. Bella was still reeling from the emotional rollercoaster she had just gotten off of when Alice pulled into her driveway. "Bella…" Alice trailed off as she tried to find something to say.

"I'm fine Alice, really, just wasn't expecting that is all." She sent an unconvincing half smile to Alice who just frowned more at her friend. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alice. I'm glad you're here…" Bella hugged Alice as well as she could before bolting out of the car and into the house, relived to find the main room empty as her body broke down into empty sobs.

_What was I thinking?_ She questioned herself again. _I'll never be over him._

**Omg. Thank you for being so patient with me you guys. It's been forever I know, and I really don't have any excuse. Yes, college is crazy, but that has nothing to do with this massive writers block I've had for the longest time… :/ But today in the the shower it was all angles with harps and singing as this idea FINALLY came to me after over a year… so for those of you still out there reading… Thank You.**


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